Masturbate For Peace - End The War By....

Published on May 12, 2004 By mikimouse In Humor

I've tried it and at the magic moment it was announced that the insurgents in Fallujah were going to turn in their heavy weapons. Try it folks, do it for your c(o)untry.

Comments

werewolf

on May 12, 2004

So you get off listening to the news??

mikimouse

on May 12, 2004

sure do kind sir!

I contribute often. lmao!

kingbee

on May 12, 2004

near the end of 2000...after sharon incited the intifada that continues to this day...i hadda flash of inspiration while considering the similarities between judaism and islam. there are literally hundreds of laws in the torah governing entry to the temple. one of the main themes is 'clean' vs 'unclean'. the unclean category includes sexual activities as well as menstruation. so i began checking and, just as i expected, found similar 'preparation for visiting holy sites' proscriptions and regulations in the q'uran.

im neither a talmudic scholar nor an imam so i cant guarantee the correctness of what follows (otherwise i woulda submitted my plan to the nobel committee) but it looked like it would work. the un takes over jerusalem and establishes a 'no-stroke' zone around that includes both the temple wall and the dome of the rock. no men are permitted entry unless they sign an oath to the effect that they havent eaten any pork nor played with theirs in the previous 6 weeks. once word gets around, there wont be nearly as many fanatics arguing who owns which sacred place. to make a bad pun, id think it would slow traffic to a trickle..no more than a handful so to speak.

anyone who signs the oath and takes his smug self-unsatisfied self inside can be quickly dispatched by snipers posted out of sight solely for that purpose. within a year, we should be well on our way to completely eliminating all the fanatics and liars.

a

lena

on May 13, 2004

That's a good suggestion, kingbee

And yes, the Torah and Quran does have lots of similarities, as does the Bible. I think in chronological order it's the Bible, then the Torah, then the Quran .. which unfortunately most people don't know. It's like software version 1.0, 2.0, 3.0.

And doesn't "Make love not war" mean basically the same thing? Although this is more .. self love

kingbee

on May 13, 2004

to love others you must first love yourself, no?

yikes! a whole new constitutional can of worms: self-sex marriages

gothic impulse

on May 13, 2004

Where do I sign up

mikimouse

on May 13, 2004

"a 'no-stroke' zone"....."self-sex marriages".....fucking hilarious! I spit my coffee out it was so funny.

thanx!

Welcome Guest! Please take the time to register with us.
There are many great features available to you once you register, including:

Richer content, access to many features that are disabled for guests like commenting on the forums.
Access to a great community, with a massive database of many, many areas of interest.
Access to contests & subscription offers like exclusive emails.
It's simple, and FREE!